1 – The Wielding of the Mythical Beast

1 May

susationalaapainted1

So, a friend of mine suggested that I create a list that names all the attributes I want in a mate…and then this mythical beast should appear sometime before the all the eggs in my uterus fizzle and dry out like an old ass Jheri Curl.  My faith is not completely invested in the ability of a piece of paper to herald forth the man of my dreams…it’s reminiscent of making a list addressed to Santa Claus’s home at the North Pole (really?).

But I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, and most people who find themselves there hang themselves…and I’m really not into that sort of thing.  As of late, I have been receiving S.O.S. smoke signals from ex-boyfriends (groan).  They have found me on various networking websites (the internet is evil).  I am becoming quite annoyed with the walks down memory lane because what I am discovering is that these fucking idiots have not grown-up in the least bit (read: Arrested Development), and they are in search of a conversation with a GIRL I have not been for at least a decade (groan)!  And believe you me, I will tell you all about the ex factors…WARNING: it’s tragic.

  1. Physical Attributes
  1. Tall – 6’0”
  2. Attractive (to me)

c. HUNG 😉 – Okay, so I’m not going to fake the funk…size DOES matter!  Don’t get it twisted! I can teach him the rest!

d. Race not important.  I’ve reached the conclusion that I may have to give up on Black men 😦 …Sad but true!

e. In shape – I don’t like plump, pudgy, or cuddly…sorry L

f. Between the ages of 28-38 (I’m not particularly fond of old school sexy or men with Social Security checks)

  1. Career/Personal Goals
  1. College Educated (4 year degree preferably…I will be starting a Ph.D. program, so I don’t need anyone who is easily intimidated)
  2. Succinct career path (Read: working as a bag boy, at the tender age of 30, will not cut it…no drug dealers, hustlers, etc.)
  3. Sets short and long term goals for himself
  4. Follows through on said goals
  5. Has his own place to live (and I’m not talking about a room in his mama’s house, his cousin’s couch, or his baby mama’s bed)
  6. Has his own transportation (doesn’t have to be a Mercedes or BMW…just something that doesn’t require a schedule or ME having to go pick his sorry ass up)
  1. Personality
  1. Witty
  2. Gets my humor
  3. Laid back
  4. Knows when to take the lead and when to back off
  5. Respects his mother
  6. Is accustomed to hard work and working for a goal
  7. Open minded
  8. Honest
  9. Monogamous
  10. Dependable
  11. Ready for commitment
  12. Will share the responsibility of housework
  13. Disease free (self-explanatory…I don’t want my pussy falling out)
  14. Addiction free (it is so unattractive to smoke cigarettes, weed, drink a 40 everyday, etc.)
  1. Spirituality
  1. Spiritually minded (no religious fanatics need apply)
  2. Understands the difference between religion and spirituality
  3. Is accepting/respectful of my spiritual beliefs

Okay, so this is my list so far…it may expand over time.  It usually gets a bit longer every time I go out on a date with someone new…Imagine that!  I’m not sure one man has all of the ingrediants I’ve listed above…in fact, I don’t think that such a mythical beast exists!  I think I may have to settle with Mr. Sunsational 😉

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One Response to “1 – The Wielding of the Mythical Beast”

  1. 4badgirlzonly May 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    🙂

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