15 – A Woman Doesn’t Have to Beg

16 Oct

I’m tired of men telling me A Woman Doesn’t Have to Beg.[1] That’s BULLSHIT!  I’ve been looking and I’ve been begging…and I’ve been dickless!  I’m just as equally tired of men telling me that the woman has control over when sex is had.  I believe that theory to hold partial truth…then the rest of it is just unadulterated BULLSHIT!  Here’s the way I live it…men wait for us to allow them to have sex with us the FIRST time around, and then after that…you’re a begging fool!

Women may decide when the initial occurrence of sex transpires, but men are in control of how often she gets it and IF a relationship develops.

I know that many people will disagree with me, but I am only speaking from my reality and the reality of my friends.  Some of you may even go as far to say…if all of your friends are like the one described in Don’t Go Home With a Black Girl, then no wonder.  Sure…some of you may say that…but it’s really not that simple.

I have attempted the male/female situation from all angles.  I have been the one he really wants but can’t have, the one who really wants him but can’t have him, the savior, the saved, the faithful girlfriend, the abused girlfriend, the kinky girlfriend, the compliant girlfriend, the defiant girlfriend, the one who walked in on him while he was cheating…I’ve been it all.  Now, I’m tired.  Now, all I want is a little affection from time to time…no strings attached.  I have high blood pressure…I can’t deal with the stress that the strings attached part brings.

Many of my girlfriends are confused about what it is I say I want from a man, or they just don’t believe me.  First of all, if I am going to truly consider him as a keeper…as my equal…then he’s got to have the following:

v  A career (i.e. salaried, medical, 401K, etc.)

v  Minimum of a Bachelors degree (I have a Masters and will soon have a PhD)

v  His own transportation (i.e. working vehicle)

v  His own place to live

v  Proper money management skills

v  Personal goals

v  Professional goals

v  SINGLE!!!

I have listed things that I have.  I am not expecting him to do or be anyone that I am not already.  Believe it or not, all that I’ve listed above is difficult to find in ONE man.  And I have no problem keeping it real…I am a woman with physical needs.  So, if I encounter a man who has one or two of those things…or NONE of those things…I weigh HOW he can be used.  It’s kinda like how you cut off the moldy part of the bread and throw it out, instead of throwing out the entire loaf!  LOL!  If I see that he may be utilized in the “physical pleasures” department, then I throw him in that box…but he NEVER comes out of that box…EVER!  It’s like feeding a Gizmo after midnight…bad…very bad!

And now these Gizmo ass n*&&#s are acting a fool!  Making me beg?  Making me go through hoops?  The temerity!  What is this world coming to?  I want to know why a woman, who isn’t asking for commitment, still has to beg!

[1] And I’m talking about sex…just in case you were confused!  I’m a one-track-mind! LOL!


7 Responses to “15 – A Woman Doesn’t Have to Beg”

  1. Loverville October 17, 2009 at 5:54 pm #

    Just discovered your blog through Moxie — love it! Will definitely have to add it to my blogroll.

    • 4badgirlzonly October 17, 2009 at 6:02 pm #

      Awwwwww! Thank you!!! Please keep reading 🙂

  2. 4badgirlzonly October 20, 2009 at 9:18 pm #

    if a guy’s only flaw is my absolute favorite sexual thing…I think I would have to learn to accept that flaw(as long as his sex game makes up for it…oh…and I would tell him that). Nope…doesn’t sound fair, but I’m realizing that it really is a man’s world.

    No one on here has suggested, even remotely, that you should give up your favorite activity in the bedroom. What gets you off is deeply personal.

    And, if that is your favorite thing, and you are CLEARLY (from your post) going to resent him not doing it, and hold it over his head, do BOTH of you a favor and move along to someone else.

    It is no more a man’s world than it is a woman’s world. We all have priorities of what we’re looking for. If your priorities are getting in the way of finding a longterm partner, then like everyone else on the planet, you have to weigh your priorities and decide what really matters to you.

    I looked at your site, 4badgirlz, and you have an expectation that any guy you’d get serious about would be your equal in education and in earnings. Just by issuing that proclamation in this day and age, you’ve ruled out perhaps 75-80% of the eligible guys in your area. When you add in your further criteria that he must be salaried, with benefits, you’ve ruled out more, including successful entrepeneurs.

    I guarantee that most guys, even in NYC, aren’t that stringent in their demands about who they will date.

    So…if your priorities aren’t working for you, and ARE keeping you single, perhaps you should consider doing some self-analysis rather than blaming your singleness on it being a “man’s world.”

    What a fricking cop-out. (insert humongous eyeroll here).

    I can tell you, just from reading your response here, and 5 minutes perusing your blog, exactly why you’re single. And so could most of the other regulars on here.

    • 4badgirlzonly October 20, 2009 at 9:22 pm #


      LOL! Okay…wow! I’m going to apologize to Moxie, in advance, for taking up space with my following response to “Trouble” (certainly not a misnomer). I believe this could have posted in MY comments on MY blog in response to “It’s a Man’s World.”

      So…here goes nothing…

      “I can tell you, just from reading your response here, and 5 minutes perusing your blog, exactly why you’re single. And so could most of the other regulars on here.”

      Good thing I’m not asking you…and you speak for others! WOW!

      “I looked at your site, 4badgirlz, and you have an expectation that any guy you’d get serious about would be your equal in education and in earnings.”

      And so what of it? Read Moxie’s latest post and you will have the answer to that issue! Why should I always be the “stable” one? The only one with a car? Career? Benefits? I have dated “down” for quite a while now, and it causes issues. They want to know why I have the money to(insert object/activity), or can I drive them to (insert location), or can they borrow ($$$)…and the resounding answer is HELL NO! I worked hard to get where I am…go work hard somewhere and get your own…at 34…that innate state of bereft-ness is NOT attractive.

      So, yes, to take him seriously…I do want him to be my financial equal. As far an entrepreneur…um…okay…fine! I don’t encounter those…at least not in the true sense of the word. Sure, I know guys who sell shirts out of their cars, drugs, ..women, etc…is that someone whom you presume I give a try? 😉 LOL!

      And…by the way…no one should ever admit, in public, that they skimmed something for five minutes and were able to glean complete comprehension of the matter. I realize that you were attempting “trite” and implying that my blog is so shallow that it only takes one FIVE WHOLE MINUTES to “get it” …yeah…you may want to try that again.

      A “man’s world”…apparently that’s what sent you into your fit.. 🙂 Sorry…I didn’t make the rules and I rarely follow them…toodle-loo..

  3. Joey Giraud October 21, 2009 at 1:45 am #

    Seems to me that anyone with a big need for something is at the mercy of them that has it.

    In my life, it’s women holding out on what I want, in your life, flip side.

    • 4badgirlzonly October 21, 2009 at 2:35 am #

      @Joey…you are absolutely correct. I know it seems unbelievable. My brothers say that what I’m experiencing is geographical. I live in Atlanta and my two younger brothers live in Houston, and my older brothers live in NYC. My brothers seem to think that the male to female ratio (which is 1:15) is blowing the OPTIONS the males have out of proportion.

      So…that’s that…they have options. HA!

  4. isabella November 2, 2009 at 12:53 pm #

    Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize until just now that you live in Atlanta. THAT is why you are beautiful but dickless. LOL!!

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